you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
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