ya dads aren't the best wingmen
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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