Where are you?
In a non slutty way
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
i out mim tonsoeep
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