I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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