we're chasing vodka with high fives
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Randomize
