You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
