so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
