I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
