I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
