I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
