So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
he quoted the bible to break up with me
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Randomize
