As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
