walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
