whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
