that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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