I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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