Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
