I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
