Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
