I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
