the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
