in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
