I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Randomize
