One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
you made out with another girl for some wings
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
