I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
