Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
