ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
