it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
