dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
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