Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
No subtext here. People are naked.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
The power of my boobs compel you
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
