the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
