I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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