We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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