Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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