i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
