he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
i out mim tonsoeep
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