i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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