So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Randomize