I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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