I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
