I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
