i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
