Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
