I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
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