what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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