tell your sister to shave her snatch
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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