My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
