Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Randomize
