White coat. Heels.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
