She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Liz is crying about burritos again.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
